I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
