I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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