Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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