party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
