i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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