My sheets look like a crime scene.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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