Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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