Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I am spending my child support on dildos
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
