PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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