How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
