Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize
