Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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