I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
