I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
