Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We need to get me chipped asap
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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