it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
