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It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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