Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
