We won't sleep together?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
