Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
