even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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