Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
