That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
