dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
