this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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