Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
