4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
