I wish I could punch you in the face.
oh god the rape fog is back!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
