so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
