So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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