When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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