you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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