BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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