my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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