No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
