Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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