I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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