can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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