oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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