You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
