there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You left your phone here
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