i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she peed on how many people?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
