I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
