2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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