We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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