I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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