Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
