It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My penis needs a shock collar
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The adults are the big ones right?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
