oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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