I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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