We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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