To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
