You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I FOUND THE LEGS
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
